When you married your beloved partner, you have taken the package along with him or her. Some hit the jackpot. Several got satisfactory packages. However, many have been endorsed with a burden to carry —– difficult in laws.
Difficult in laws may be described by the following phrases. “That is not how you raise a kid!” “You must raise the kids like this” “How can you raise a family with that job?” “Why can’t you buy a better this for your daughter!?” “How can you buy her a better that?” And here is the worst: “I should have never let my child be married to the likes of you!”
There are still lots of ways to describe difficult in laws. They always meddle with your affairs. They mostly comment and meddle with your job, your salary, the way you handle your wife and the way you handle your kids. Some may even comment on how you dress and how you bring yourself. They always have to meddle with something. And you are just there. You are always trying your best not to explode and talk back to these comments of theirs. If you do talk back, you may hurt your dear spouse. Then, you try your best to do nothing.
Well, you can’t just sit down and do nothing. Saving all those hurtful comments will only lead to outbursts and displacement of these feelings to your work, your wife and even your kids. This puts your marriage in to jeopardy. You must act what a civilized and educated person will do. You must think before you act.
Calm yourself. Try to lessen those feelings of frustration and anger. It is difficult to think and act like a civilized and educated person with those burdens in you carry.
Assess. Try to understand why in laws act like that. Talk to your wife about it. A lot of behaviors can be explained by learning the culture, the religion, the personality, frustrating experiences and illnesses of in laws. Some are authoritative by personality. Some cover up their shortcomings as a father or mother by meddling in your married life.
After coming to terms with the understanding of behavior, you have to act. The first action is to accept and respect whatever causes your in-law to make your married life difficult. This is one of the most difficult things to do. But, if it is for love and marriage, then it can be done.
The next best action is let your in-laws know about it. You can try to talk to them yourself or you can let your partner inform them how you felt with their meddling. Try to settle this in a calm and diplomatic matter. Your in laws will know you are serious about your marriage. Then have a discussion with them in family picnic or any place that will calm their mood.
Finally, don’t forget to pray. Prayers can save marriages by bringing about a miracle such as a in laws having a change of heart.